My name (Taryn) has many meanings. It is an old Irish name that is a combination of Tara and
Erin, meaning "the hills of Ireland". Below are some of the other various meanings and their origins:
I've always thought of my name as being very unique. For a while, I didn't like it, both because it was unique and no one else had it, and because it was constantly being mispronounced and misspelled. When I was younger, my mom told me my name meant Earth or hills. I have vague memories of being told it had something to do with fairies or elves. Being a child, I was obviously more drawn to the fairies than the hills. It can be seen in the table that the idea of the hills is more Irish-Gaelic, while the Earth part was more Latin. However, I don't know where the idea of fairies came from.
I don't think my name necessarily defines me, but I do think it sets me apart. I have found very few other people with my name, which to me means that it has some connection to me specifically and was not chosen just because it was popular when I was born. It makes me feel more like a unique individual knowing that I have a trait that is mostly specific to me.
My middle name has always been the one with the most meaning to me. While my first and last names are very Irish and unique, my middle name (Katherine) is becoming a family name. It is also my mother's middle name, and the name she goes by (Kathi) comes from it. My grandmother passed her first name (Dorothy) down to my mom, as her mom had to her. My mom, on the other hand, chose to pass on her middle name to me. I've always loved my middle name, and have even considered going by Katherine before. However, my first name is much more unique and I know that it was chosen specially for me.
The idea of being "two" is not foreign to me. A lot of the time I find myself feeling like I am a different person when I'm alone than when I'm in a group, or a different person within one group than I am in another. This, for me, creates the disconnect between who I am and who I present myself as. Much of the time, who we present ourselves as tends to be who we think people want to see or who they want us to be. For example, many students may present themselves as studious and organized during school hours, while at home they are struggling to get their work done and to understand the material.
Much conflict may come from trying to be both an individual and a part of something bigger. For me, that conflict is finding the middle ground of what is expected of me from others and how much I personally can handle or realistically take on. It is difficult to balance pulling your weight and knowing your own limits because if you're anything like me, you tend to bite off more than you can chew to make sure you're doing your fair share.
Another conflict that can come from this is the attempt to stay true to oneself while also being a part of a group. For example, putting a very courteous and polite person in a group of people who mess around by being mean to each other. It becomes difficult for the one individual to keep up their polite personality while trying to be included in a group of people with polar opposite behaviors.
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